Writing is testing limits

I am working on the continuation of Castle Showdown. But I am finding it slow going. The problem is that I am not quite sure about my own feelings on the subject. Writing is an interesting way to play with your own limits. Normally when you fantasize or dream of something, if it becomes a bit unpleasant, you can just redirect your dream. But if you write you have to continue the story line (or go back and do a major rewrite). In this case I have announced that I intend the continue the story in a swinging club. That is really a thought experiment, as I have never had any experiences of that kind. I can imagine the setting and the build up, but what is it going to be like to actually submit yourself fully to the situation? I don't mind a bit of petting at parties. I can also accept a situation involving swapping of partners. or a bit of "public" sex. But what is it going to be like with people you don't know? With any number of people as potential unlookers not to mention participants?

I keep stopping my writing having to re-think the situation and see what actually appeals to me. What would I do if the situation was real? Some situations I find arousing to think about and some quite revolting. I really only want to write about the onces I find acceptable, but perhaps all the time balancing on the brink of the unacceptable, to find out where that line is.

So, I am afraid, the continuation will be at least a couple of months down the road. Also because I have to go to two conventions combined with some vacation over the next month, which will make it practically impossible to write. But one day it will be there - I promise.

Hugs Jen